Twitter witch-hunt demeans City and United
The Manchester derby. City win, United lose, a referee has one of those days and Chris Smalling? Well, he went home wearing the dunce’s hat after two moments of first-half madness saw him red card before half-time.
But despite the action and controversy, and Sergio Agüero’s stunning strike to win the game, the unpleasant trend of football supporters launching social media witch-hunts broke new ground during and after the 168th derby between City and United.
Before the game had finished, two incidents were being highlighted on Twitter and Vine, with blues and reds calling for action and condemnation against Joe Hart and Marouane Fellaini following their involvement in two flashpoints.
Hart, according to a screen grab tweeted several thousand times, escaped punishment for headbutting referee Michael Oliver.
Yes, that’s right, the Manchester City and England goalkeeper headbutted the referee.
Except that he did not, but that did not prevent a red-tinted witch-hunt aimed at publicising an incident that referee Oliver did not even notice, despite being on the receiving end of the apparent headbutt.
Similarly, Fellaini was condemned by City supporters for allegedly spitting at Agüero as he lay on the ground following a challenge in the penalty area.
Once again, apparently conclusive footage was tweeted in an effort to have Fellaini hauled before the Football Association, charged and then suspended.
Closer inspection showed Fellaini to be shouting at Agüero, who was merely the unfortunate recipient of the Belgian’s saliva dripping onto his shirt.
Agüero did not complain, neither, subsequently did manager Manuel Pellegrini.
Some at City may have attempted to make an issue of the incident, but Pellegrini was having nothing of it and nor was Agüero.
The issue here is that football supporters are now taking rivalry to another level, ignoring the action on the pitch in an effort to weaken their rivals through mob rule online.
It is school playground behaviour, but some clearly have nothing better to do. It is tribalism gone too far, though.
During the World Cup, one of the more refreshing aspects was the absence of bile and hostility during games.
But the Premier League is all about nailing your colours to the mast and it seems that part of supporting a team now involves trying to get opponents into trouble, whether they deserve it or not. Mark Ogden
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Headlines you won’t be reading this week
– Chris Smalling: the thinking man’s footballer
– Brendan Rodgers: “Operation Title Challenge 2064 coming along nicely”
– Supporting Villa ‘even less fun than following Spurs’ – claims
– Pardew pulls level with botulism, Thatcher in North East popularity contest
– Mourinho making enough noise for 41,387 people anyway
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Charlie Austin can be the new Rickie Lambert
Last week, Karen Austin posted an old photo on Twitter. It was taken at Chelsea's training ground about 10 years ago, and it shows John Terry posing with a beaming teenager whom he had just given his autograph. That kid was Charlie Austin. On Saturday the pair came face to face in the Premier League for the first time. And Austin scored.
Playing for most of the game as a lone striker against perhaps the finest centre-back pairing in the Premier League, Austin did not disgrace himself. Predictably, he didn't get a lot of service – he touched the ball only five times in the Chelsea penalty area. And yet with one of them, he scored QPR's equaliser with a deft back-heel. If Messi had scored that, etc etc.
With five goals already this season, just how good could Austin be? Well, put it this way: at his age, Rickie Lambert was still at Bristol Rovers and Grant Holt was still at Rochdale. Both worked their way up from the lower leagues to take the Premier League by storm. Austin could yet eclipse them both. Jonathan Liew
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Cliché of the week
Bragging rights: Having spent the week throwing form books out of the window, rival fans find out on derby day just who has won the latest round of bragging rights. Less costly (but rather more competitive) than the Premier League's TV rights, these vague, city-dividing honours are adjudicated from a neutral Swiss location by the European Court of Bragging Rights. See more in new book Football Clichés by Adam Hurrey, published by Headline.
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Alternative analysis
The Manchester derby, distilled into its component parts.
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Why can't managers lighten up?
Jose Mourinho has built an impressive portfolio of goal celebrations during his illustrious career, but he needs to gather his PR team to rethink this season’s efforts.
The halcyon days of the dash to the Old Trafford corner flag (2004) and sprint across the Nou Camp pitch (2010) have given way to the ultimate non-celebration.
Nowadays Jose gives the impression he is not only dissatisfied when his side scores, the very idea of it disgusts him because they did not do so much earlier.
If Mourinho’s descent into grouchiness continues, it can only be a matter of time until Stamford Bridge security are dispatched to stop the manager jumping into the stand to throttle an unsuspecting spectator.
“What was that for?”
“How can you celebrate that Hazard penalty? Did you not see how he failed to track back five minutes ago?”
The current study in restraint is usually followed by Jose’s obligatory and choreographed scribble into the little black book of tactics. He is not alone in this. Some managers are in danger of wrist ache such is the ferocity of note taking when their team goes ahead.
What crucial information does the manager register while everyone else is recovering from their moment of ecstasy?
“53 minutes. Midfielder passed ball to striker. Striker had shot. Striker scored goal. Must remind team to this MORE OFTEN.”
The pocket notebook is the must-have accessory for the 2014 coach – essential for maintaining the appearance of the schoolmaster deeply unimpressed that his charges have done what is expected of them.
Go The Etihad Stadium over the last 12 months and you can’t stop pondering if there is anything – anything at all – that could amuse Manuel Pellegrini. Whether he has won the Manchester derby, or just claimed the victory that claimed the Premier League title, Pellegrini’s post-match demeanour is best described as that of a man who needs to leave urgently because he has an exorcism to attend to.
If he ever wins the Champions League with City, the Chilean may upgrade his expression to that of mildly contented.
Louis Van Gaal is another so deadpan he could deputise for Paul Merton on Have I Got News For You.
To be fair to the Dutchman he does laugh regularly (but mostly at his own gags).
When did it become so trendy for managers to look so displeased with winning? Can we have a little more giddiness on the bench, please?
Bring back Jose the touchline menace, challenging Usain Bolt’s 100m record. Give us a bit of Arsène Wenger performing a knee slide in front of the fourth official the next time Alexis Sanchez heads a beauty, or Brendan Rodgers lifting up his jumper to display a T-shirt with the slogan ‘it’s about time it was you’ when Mario Balotelli scores a hat-trick.
At the very least, look as though you’re enjoying yourself. We know you’re all under pressure, but what’s the worst that can happen? If it goes wrong you’ll still get a £4 million pay off and statement from the LMA telling everyone how badly you’ve been treated.
You’re in one of the few professions where you win the lottery when you’re sacked. If your side scoring can’t make you happy, just think about that and give us a smile. Chris Bascombe
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Film review of the week
“Gone Girl. Rubbish. Absolute rubbish. I went with a couple of lads from the Irish team, but if I was on my own, honestly, I would have walked out.” Who else could this furious film critic be other than Roy
Keane? Alas, Shortlist magazine did not have space for the rest of the anecdote about Roy’s cinema trip, in which he rails at the standard of the hot dogs and the uncomfortable seats, culminating in a rant about “Do you think Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink’s here eating ****ing stale popcorn?” and shouting “stick it up your bollix” every time Ben Affleck appears on screen.
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Stats make damning reading for Lambert
Paul Lambert was not even born the last time Aston Villa suffered such a poor sequence of results.
Villa have now lost six league games in a row for the first time since 1963 and the problems keep piling up for Lambert, who will be without Christian Benteke for three games just when the forward looked to be returning to his best.
Even the most ultra-optimistic of Villa fans (who are rapidly dwindling in numbers) would not foresee victories in the next two games against West Ham and Southampton.
Yet Lambert does not appear to be under any immediate pressure from chairman Randy Lerner, who is so determined to ensure stability that he rewarded the Scot with a new four-year deal in September. There remains a sense that Lambert's position remains secure, despite all the statistics hurtling in his direction.
But how much more can Lerner take? Villa have flirted with relegation for the past four years and there are only so many times you can put your fingers near the fire before you get burned.
Even if the unthinkable happened, and Villa slipped into the Championship, would anything necessarily change? In the past the club has always stressed that Lambert's job would be safe as he had previous experience of earning promotion with Norwich City.
That stance is admirable, especially during these turbulent times in which football management should carry a health warning, but many Villa fans have had enough.
And it is the growing apathy that will cause the most damage. There were only 29,000 home fans at Villa Park on Sunday and many believe the club are treading water without any prospect of progress.
Admittedly, Villa did not deserve to lose against Tottenham Hotspur on Sunday – indeed, Mauricio Pochettino’s squad should have shuffled back to London with Dick Turpin masks on.
But the statistics are damning and make dreadful reading for Lambert – he says he takes no notice of statistics and it seems the people at Villa who matter don't really either.
Something needs to change soon or this great club will continue to sleepwalk closer towards the edge of the cliff. John Percy
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Non-League Expert Of The Week
None out of ten for Geography, but ten out of ten for Effort, to Eden Hazard as he discussed Chelsea’s midweek game against … what were they called again … small team … somewhere up North … we played them in the Capital One Cup. That’s it: “Strawberry.” What was particularly good was the way Eden paused, panicked but decided to press on and take a brave stab at Shrewsbury’s name.
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Welbeck needs to take his chance
While in defence it is currently a case of playing whoever is fit, the options on offer to Arsène Wenger further forward are becoming fairly mouth-watering. But, as Wenger acknowledged after the 3-0 win on Saturday against Burnley, that in itself can become problematic while seeking to find the correct balance between attack and defence.
The status of Alexis Sanchez as the team’s talisman is obvious – he has contributed more goals, assists, shots and chances than any other Arsenal player this season – and it also seems clear that Wenger wants to play him centrally. This leaves some difficult decisions. Danny Welbeck, Mesut Ozil and Olivier Giroud also see themselves playing through the middle and that leaves only on space, either playing behind Sanchez (as Ozil surely would) or just in front, as Welbeck or Giroud would prefer.
Which brings us to Welbeck. He is the man in possession at the moment. With Giroud and Ozil still out, he is the man with all the opportunities over the next few weeks to forge a lasting partnership with Sanchez. It has been a mixed bag so far. He has given more balance to Arsenal’s team and, yes, five goals in 10 games is a respectable return but it is worth also noting that four of those goals came in Arsenal’s two most comfortable wins of the season against Aston Villa and Galatasaray.
Wenger noted on Saturday how the mark of a really great player is to score when it really counts – often at 0-0 – and Welbeck did miss chances in games against Manchester City and Borussia Dortmund at that stage of the match.
Taking those sorts of chances is the difference between the good and great Premier League strikers. The opportunity is there for Welbeck to make that step up but now really could be his big chance. If he does not grasp it in the coming weeks, and Giroud and Ozil return to their usual form, Welbeck could be back in the sort of peripheral role that he found as so frustrating at Manchester United. Jeremy Wilson
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Number of the week
200: Carlton Cole made his 200th Premier League appearance for West Ham United at the weekend. Only Mark Noble (202) and Steve Potts (204) have made more for the club.
Made-up Number of the week
241,000,000: number of pounds, in a bizarre parallel universe, that Man United spent on that team. It cannot be true, right?
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Possibly slightly harsh ban of the week
To Switzerland, in fact to the fourth tier in Swiss football, and the case of Portugal Futebol Clube defender Ricardo Ferreira, who got himself into hot Swiss water recently when he kicked a ball at a referee’s face. Nobody wants to see that, etc. But the 50-year ban that Ricardo has received is possibly a little draconian, maybe? Still, he does have previous and, after all, he will be only 78 when he’s allowed to pull his boots on once more. And he will have had plenty of time to think about what he has done. If he can remember …
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Save of the week
Half-time at the Etihad Stadium. Entertainment. Generously padded funnyman James Corden steps up to take a penalty (to unkind chants of “Rooney! Rooney!”) he strikes it nicely, placing it towards the top corner. But the man between the sticks leaps like the proverbial salmon, producing a magnificent save to deny the disbelieving Gavin and Stacey fave. So who is this catlike young fellow in nets? None other than England cricket legend Andrew Flintoff, who kissed the Manchester City badge on his shirt as if he had just won the Title (or the Ashes).
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Babb come on
Alan Partridge transfer sagas, the singing Man City parrot and more on Project Babb at http://babb.telegraph.co.uk
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